After chatting through the dating site platform for a couple of days, I finally give him my number.
Idiot: I am going to text you, and then you text me back to make sure I sent it to the right number, okay?
*We start texting through iMessages
Idiot: Hello, Miss
Me: Hi there
Idiot: Good girl
Idiot: No, you should say Thank you, sir
*Without any warning, he calls me on the phone
Idiot: Hi again
Idiot: I’m serious. I like to be called sir.
Idiot: I need you to call me sir
Me: I like to be called Your Royal Highness, You gonna call me that? lol
Idiot: Really, I like to be called sir, or daddy
Me: Bwahahaaa… Daddy? Um. No.
Idiot: Why not? It’s not that big a deal.
Me: How long a list would you like for why not?… and if it isn’t that big a deal, why are you insisting on it?
Idiot: Just try it.
Idiot: Try it
Me: I did just try to call you sir, and then daddy, but nothing came out of my mouth. I apparently am incapable of doing that.
Me: I can’t even make myself say that
Idiot: Just try it, please?
Me: Say “Please, Your Royal Highness”
Idiot: What? No!
Me: See? That is how I feel.
Idiot: But you are exactly what I want
Me: Apparently not
Idiot: Yes, you are
Me: You want a chick who is gonna call you sir or daddy. That has never been, isn’t now, and will never be me.
Idiot: But it could be
Me: Nope. Never gonna happen
Idiot: But it is such a small thing
Me: Not to you, it isn’t
Idiot: I can’t believe you are making such a big deal about this
Me: Right back at ya
Idiot: Well, we can talk more about this another time.
Me: If you want to waste time requesting that again sometime, I guess so. Results will not vary. Have a good night.