Thursday, December 12, 2019
Dating Site Idiots

Sir? Daddy? Um… No Episode

After chatting through the dating site platform for a couple of days, I finally give him my number.

Idiot: I am going to text you, and then you text me back to make sure I sent it to the right number, okay?

Me: Sure

*We start texting through iMessages

Idiot: Hello, Miss

Me: Hi there

Idiot: Good girl

Me: lol

Idiot: No, you should say Thank you, sir

Me: LOL

*Without any warning, he calls me on the phone

Idiot: Hi again

Me: Helloooo

Idiot: I’m serious. I like to be called sir.

Me: What?

Idiot: I need you to call me sir

Me: I like to be called Your Royal Highness, You gonna call me that?  lol

Idiot: Really, I like to be called sir, or daddy

Me: Bwahahaaa… Daddy? Um. No.

Idiot: Why not? It’s not that big a deal.

Me: How long a list would you like for why not?… and if it isn’t that big a deal, why are you insisting on it?

Idiot: Just try it.

Me: ……..

Idiot: Try it

Me: I did just try to call you sir, and then daddy, but nothing came out of my mouth. I apparently am incapable of doing that.

Idiot: What

Me: I can’t even make myself say that

Idiot: Just try it, please?

Me: Say “Please, Your Royal Highness”

Idiot: What? No!

Me: See? That is how I feel.

Idiot: But you are exactly what I want

Me: Apparently not

Idiot: Yes, you are

Me: You want a chick who is gonna call you sir or daddy. That has never been, isn’t now, and will never be me.

Idiot: But it could be

Me: Nope. Never gonna happen

Idiot: But it is such a small thing

Me: Not to you, it isn’t

Idiot: I can’t believe you are making such a big deal about this

Me: Right back at ya

Idiot: Well, we can talk more about this another time.

Me: If you want to waste time requesting that again sometime, I guess so. Results will not vary. Have a good night.

Idiot: Goodnight.

 

 

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