Saturday, July 11, 2020
Everyday Idiots Work Idiots

I Tried Really Hard Episode

Giant pick up truck, with a bed full of scrap wood is parked in my assigned parking space. There are at least 5 unassigned parking spaces in front of my building, and one of them is just 8 feet from my spot. I walk across the street, and up to the workers renovating my neighbor’s house.

Idiot: Am I parked in your space?

Me: Well, I just came out of 1109, and you are parked in “Reserved 1109” – so, good guess!

Idiot: I tried really hard not to do that.

Me: Really?

Idiot: What?

Me: Really? How hard did you try? And what did you do to try really hard?

Idiot: What do you mean?

Me: I mean, my spot is clearly marked, so clearly marked, that you knew exactly why I was coming over here. There is an entire row of available spots right there. I am curious as to how you “tried really hard” not to park in my spot.

***Of course, I added air quotes to “tried really hard”

Idiot: Well, you know…

Me: Nope. I have no idea how one could “try really hard” not to park in a spot, and then have the vehicle end up there, with numerous appropriate choices so close by. Was someone else driving the truck, and you were screaming, “Oh, god no…. not there… please!”

***The other workmen started to slowly back away.

Idiot: Noooo

Me: Are you possessed by a demon, or have alternate personalities that are compelled to park inappropriately?

Idiot: Listen, I don’t appreci –

Me: No…you listen. You are not in a position to appreciate, or not appreciate, being called out for this.

Idiot: You want me to move my truck?

Me: No, I just came out here to give you a hard time, and then tell you you can leave it there.

Idiot: Really?

Me: No. Not really.

***That was the first time I raised my voice.

Idiot: Oh, I will move it then.

Me: Yes, yes you will.

***I nodded, turned, and walked back home.

***Some people say I am no fun before I have had any caffeine in the morning.


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