Me: Good afternoon. This is the second time that I have called with this request, and I –
Idiot: Excuse me, ma’am. I need the phone number associated with your account to get started helping you.
Me: That’s what I was about to say. I don’t have any account with you. Someone keeps dumping your newspapers in my yard, and I don’t have an account, and I don’t want them. I called two weeks ago, and thought I had this all set. The papers are still coming. I have tried to catch the delivery person, but they always seem to come when I am not looking outside for them. My addre-
Idiot: There would not be an account without a phone number.
Me: I know that. You didn’t let me finish. I bought this house two years ago. The previous owners had a subscription that was put on hold. For some reason you have just reactivated it, and I am getting daily newspapers that I don’t want. My addre-
Idiot: Excuse me, ma’am. What is the address?
Me: Yes, that was what I was about to tell you. My address is (stated address) but, you won’t ha-
Idiot: So, this is (states a name that isn’t mine), correct?
Me: No… Like I said, that is the name of the person who sold me this house over 2 years ago. You have reactivated HER account. Please stop. I don’t want these newspapers dumped in front of my house. I was on vacation last week, and they piled up, and that is such an eyesore for my neighbors. I spoke to someone two weeks ago and went all through this. They said that it was taken care of.
Idiot: I am not sure what I can do.
Me: What? How can your company have no idea how to stop sending someone their product? Cancel the subscription, and stop sending me the newspapers. Please.
Idiot: Well, maybe the person who ordered the subscription would have to cancel it.
Me: No. That is an unacceptable answer.
Idiot: I guess I could see if someone could contact the delivery person?
Me: That is something that might work, and that has not been stated as an option before. Thank you. Please try to do that.
Idiot: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Me: No, thank you. Just that. If you get them to stop delivering newspapers to me, that is all I will ever need.
Idiot: Have a good day.