I knew this 59 year old “Chaplain Candidate” would be a terrible match for me, based on his profile, and he should have known the same, by reading mine. I will also preface this post by stating that, while he is an Idiot, I am clearly being an a-hole here. My purpose was not to […]
Category: Dating Site Idiots
WTF is Wrong with You?
After weeks of normal text chatting through iMessenger, and planning to meet up after the quarantine, Idiot disappears, with no messages for a week. After 7 days of silence, he randomly sends a message through WhatsApp. Not just any message… a video. Not just any video… a live, close-up, “kitten-gram” performance. Yep, homemade porn. Me: […]
What Hole?
So… Here is an interesting opening line from a 59 year old man… “Hi I’m (his name) in what hole do you want me to fuck do make me wait I’m on messenger Facebook”
How to Tweak a Narcissist 101 Episode
January 4 Idiot: Good morning Vicki How are you today? (I did not respond to this message, or any messages on this site for at least six weeks. Reasons included in the following exchange.) January 28 Idiot: Do everyone a favor and don’t swipe right on someone if all your doing is playing games considering […]
Can we get a room baby? Episode
Idiot: U are amazing Me: Aw… thank you Idiot: Would so love u in my arms baby. Would u love that? Me: I was thinking about that… LOL. What is it you are looking for on this site? Idiot: Thinking about what baby lol? What was u thinking about lov? I want a LTR and […]
Herpe Bumps? Episode
After days of friendly, appropriate, and encouraging conversations, we decided to meet. He really wanted me to come to his apartment, but I insisted on meeting in a public place. I used the “I promised my mom that I would always meet people for the first time in a public place” since few people argue […]
“That is Quinoa” Episode
Idiot arrives late to our first date, and is annoyed that I am already at the bar and have ordered myself a drink. I offer to move to a table, but he wants to stay at up at the bar. Idiot takes forEVer to decide which beer he wants, while constantly texting on his phone. […]
Sir? Daddy? Um… No Episode
After chatting through the dating site platform for a couple of days, I finally give him my number. Idiot: I am going to text you, and then you text me back to make sure I sent it to the right number, okay? Me: Sure *We start texting through iMessages Idiot: Hello, Miss Me: Hi there […]
It’s Like Marble Episode
4 days of normal chatting happens, and we agree to meet… 1 day before we were scheduled to meet… Idiot: Want a laugh?? Me: Yessss Idiot: I took a WHOLE viagra this morning. Lol. My friend’s dad gave me one. Holyyyyyyy shit. Me: Interesting Idiot: Very Idiot: It’s like marble On the day we were […]
You Wanna do WHAT?!? Episode
Inappropriate introductory messages on dating sites have become so common, that it is difficult to find unique specimens to post anymore. I have not been using the sites for a while now, and only occasionally pop in there to see if anything “Idiot Theater worthy” is sitting in my In Box. That said… imagine my […]